You get what you give

I haven't wrote in my blog for a few days now. I'm sorry for that. I was going to get on here and talk about how busy I've been. I had a million excuses why I haven't been able to write, but the truth is I've felt really distant from God in the last couple weeks.When I feel distant from him its hard to find the write words. He always helps me write, but I've become so busy I haven't asked for help. I've been so consumed with my job that I forgot what my job was. I think when it comes to Jesus you get what give. If you give more of your time to the Lord then you will feel more of his presence. Lately, I've been so consumed with teaching that I've forgotten to pray when I woke up. I didn't feel the affects of that at first, but after forgetting consistently I can really tell a difference in my attitude. The fact is, when I don't spend time with the Lord I get really lonely. It's a different kind of lonely. The kind you feel even if your in a room full of people. The kind only Jesus can fix. In America, I may have been able to ignore these feelings for a time. I could always find something to drowned out the noise of my own conscious, but not in Haiti. People who stray from God never last long in this country. This fact reminds me of why I'm here. I wanted to be in a position where I had to depend on him. Where the only thing I could count on to get me through the day was him. I wanted trials. I wanted to be shown my faults. I wanted to know what I needed to change. Everyday, he's showing me a little more about myself. He has shown me this week that no matter how self reliant I think I am I'm always going to need my Father; "My Abba". I'm so thankful that he has shown me the reason for all my distractions. So many people live their entire lives trying to fill the void inside of themselves. I'm so grateful I have discovered the one and only thing that will satisfy me completely.
"Thank you Jesus for making me whole. For seeking me even when I'm distracted. Thank you for you patience. I love you, Lord, because you first loved me."