Dare to Dream

Lately, I've been talking with all my kids individually. I'm trying to get to know them better. A popular question I like to ask them is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
The responses I get break my heart. The question floors most of them. I honestly don't think they've ever been asked before, so they've never thought about it. American kids are asked this question hundreds of times in their short childhoods, but not Haitian kids. Most of them will eventually settle for answer like a  nurse or farmer because that's the only jobs they really know about.
How sad is this? No one is teaching my children how to dream.
I often play a game with some of the Haitian adults that can speak a little English. To force them to practice their English we sit in a circle. The first person says a sentence. For example; Yesterday I went to the beach. Then the next person makes up another sentence. Example; While I was there I saw a fisherman. You keep going around the circle until you've made a story.
I'm sure you've played this game at some point in your life.
Anyway, trying to get the adults to create a story is like pulling teeth! Its so difficult for them. They were never required in school to do creative writing or even to paint a picture. They haven't been taught how to imagine.
Now granted some people are just naturally creative and don't need to be taught these things. But, as I have learned from my Haitian friends, many people do need to be taught how or at least encouraged more.

How can we expect these children to change this country if they can't even envision a better place!

Think of all the things our world would be lacking if it wasn't for dreamers and visionaries. It was a dreamer who imagined the first airplane. Dreamers created beautiful artwork like the Mona Lisa and the Statue of David. A dreamer once came up with the idea of harnessing electricity and creating light bulbs.

I've never been so grateful for my teachers. Those great teachers that were always encouraging us to read more and imagine bigger. Every kid deserves to have someone pushing them forward. Daring them to go farther then anyone else. Thank you teachers. I hope you realize the impact your making and the great hole that would be inside all of us if you weren't here. I pray I can give these Haitian children at least half of the encouragement that my teachers gave me.

The Truth!

The truth is that 143 million orphaned children and 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific conditions and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children.

And though at first glance that looks like a big number.....

2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians.

The truth is that if only 8% of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left.

This is the truth!

I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it. The truth is that he loves these children just as much as he loves me and now that I know......

I am responsible!





(From the book Kisses from Katie)

What's Appropriate?

Yesterday, while walking through town I noticed a small child sitting along the side of the road. He was naked, searching through a trash pile for something to eat. His belly was grossly extended due to hunger and intestinal parasites. He had bald patches on his head from a skin infection.

What is the appropriate feeling when you witness something like this?
Shock? How can I be shocked I see children like this everyday?
Sadness? If sadness overwhelms me every time I look into the eyes of a hurting child then my sadness would quickly turn into depression.
Pity? How can I pity a people who have endured trials much greater than my own and still have the courage to smile?
Love? Many times God places love in my heart that I have yet to understand, but not at this particular time.
At this moment I feel anger, and I begin to question myself. Is this wrong?

Its not a sharp anger that spontaneously erupts and causes uncontrollable reactions. This anger is different. It's a constant. It's an anger I carry with me. One that is always hiding just out of view of my conscious thoughts. It's an anger I have become accustom to. But, is it wrong?

I've come to the realization that feelings in themselves are not sinful. God created us with feelings. It's how we choose to react to these feelings that determine whether we are sinning. When a mother stands up for her child who is being bullied; is this wrong? No. Anger is never wrong when we use it to defend the weak. As long as our actions are focused on love for the victim and not hatred towards the accused.

My anger is a holy anger; a righteous anger. An anger towards the injustice of the 3rd world.

I hate sin, and I will forever be angry at its effects. This is what drives me on the days I have nothing else left. I don't believe this anger is wrong. Not when I can use it to benefit others.


"I never work better than when I am inspired by anger. When I am angry I can write, pray, and preach well; for then my temperament is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations depart."     -Martin Luther

She's Okay!

I went to the land last night to take pictures of the children for the up coming Child Sponsorship Program. While we were working a young woman walked up to be with a big smile on her face. I thought to myself, "Who is this woman and why is she so happy to see me?" I didn't recognize her.
After she introduced herself it all came back to me. She was the woman that had Cholera a week ago! She was 100% better. I was thrilled. She didn't say much to me. She just smiled a lot and thanked me. She's lucky to be alive. And the best part is its been over a week and no one else has become sick. Praise God. Thank you for your prayers!

Wow, do I not have the greatest job ever?!?!

Is this my life?

I had one of my moments again. They come on me unexpectedly and during random situations. I was walking home in the dark after feeding the children and I suddenly thought, “Is this my life?”

Sometimes I play a game. I imagine what it would be like to wake up tomorrow and not remember the last two years. I would find myself completely surrounded by people I didn't know, speaking a language I've never heard, and living in a country I didn't know existed.  Isn't it amazing where Christ can take you if given the chance?

Yes, this is my life.

I am a missionary in the midst of a spiritual battle. I am a young single girl living alone in a third world country. I am the daughter of the most high king sent to raise up the least of these. I’m a mother. I’m a doctor. I’m a teacher.

I am not who I once was. I have been restored and remade because of the mercy of Jesus Christ.

Yes, this is my life. I thank God everyday for it. 

Persecution

Yesterday was, by far, the hardest day I've ever experienced in Haiti. After volunteering at a clinic I was taken aside by fellow missionaries and told about horrible rumors that were being spread about me by Haitian people. I won’t repeat what was said. It’s not worth the time. I was humiliated. I went home and laid in my bed and sobbed.

It was not the people in my village speaking badly of me. No, it was the people claiming to be Christians. The people I sit beside in church. I suppose I don’t fit the mold of the typical missionary so there must be something wrong with me. Some ulterior motive must have brought me here.

I can honestly say in the short time after I found out about this I was ready to leave. I had had enough. “How can I love these people?” I thought. “They bite the hand that feeds them.”

But God in all his beauty and wisdom was there whispering again, “That’s why you’re here.”

It’s easy to love those we feel deserve to be loved. Those who have never wronged us and show their appreciation towards us. But what of those that don’t?  What makes me different from the world is that I will love them even when they persecute me. I will stay even when I am wrongly accused.

I know my calling. Since I became a Christian it’s the one thing in my life I have never doubted. I know I’m supposed to be here. I know with God’s blessing I can help them. I know this!

I see the smiles on the children’s faces. I see the hope I bring into that village when I come. There is good here. I believe there is good inside these people. And if I spend the rest of my life trying to find it, then so be it. This is my calling. This is why I was created.

John 15:18-21 If the world hates you (Carrie), keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you (Carrie) do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the words I spoke to you (my daughter): “No servant is greater than his master.” If they persecute me, they will persecute you also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.

I’m so thankful the word is alive and real!

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I'm waiting for Kenzy to get back from Port Au Prince with my new refrigerator. I'm so excited. Its run off propane so my food wont spoil when the electricity goes out. Everyday the electricity turns on and off randomly throughout the day. It's the craziest thing.
I keep thinking of all the things I'm going to buy now that I can keep them cold. I wont milk, cheese, eggs, and hot dogs !! It's going to be amazing. I'm so blessed someone offered to buy me one. I don't even know who it was but whoever you are if your reading this, thank you!
I just finished looking at the schedule for this month. I'm busy busy busy!
I've decided I want to start a child sponsorship program with the kids that live next to our property. Our little village is so poor. I've learned that many of the kids go to school but they can't afford books or pencils. How can you learn if you have nothing to read and nothing to write with??? If I can get people to sponsor these kids I could go to the market myself and buy them supplies. It wouldn't take much. It cost about $10 to buy all the books a child would need for one school year.
Its a lot of paper work though. I've been taking their pictures and writing down all their information. I have about 60 kids in our feeding program that I have to get information from. And I just found out I have only two weeks to do it!!
November 20th, a group from Soul Harvest Church is coming to Haiti and I'm planning on working alongside them. Cayla and Josh Adkins are coming and staying at my house the 22nd. Both groups are planning on meeting up and doing a medical clinic on our land. At the end of the week I'm flying home with Josh and Cayla.
My plan is to be in America for the entire month of December. I was reluctant about being away from Haiti for so long but I have so much work I need to do in America  We need to become a non-profit organization so we can qualify for government grants and partner with other missions in Haiti. Don't ask me how I'm supposed to do this because I have no idea. That's why I'm giving myself a month to figure it out. I also have a lot of paperwork to do for the sponsorship program.
Things are starting to get technical! I'm just taking deep breaths and going one step at a time. God will help. He always does :)

Preventing Disaster

If your on my friend's list on Facebook you'll probably remember me commenting about taking rice to the families during Hurricane Sandy. The path leading to the village had been transformed into a small river because of the rain. We had to walk through it to get the rice to the people. As I was walking knee deep through this water I looked down and noticed poop everywhere!! Yes that's right poop. I just closed my eyes and kept telling myself it was animal poop. Don't ask me why but at that moment standing in animal feces seemed better than human. Yuck! This is grossing me out talking about it again.
Anyway, the flood spread the village's sewage everywhere. You can imagine a stream like that flowing through a village would easily spread disease. Its a breeding ground for harmful bacteria and mosquitoes that can carry malaria.
So yesterday when I revisited the village the inevitable happened. I found a young girl that had Cholera. Its a horrible illness. It can kill a person within 12 hours of the first symptoms appearing. The person runs a fever with constant vomiting and diarrhea. Dehydration is what kills during this time. If a person can't make it to a hospital for an IV they're chances of dying are high. Honestly its the one disease in Haiti that I fear the most. Only because it comes on so quickly. Sometimes people are gone before they even know what they have.
My stomach sank when I heard the villagers repeating those words, "Vini Blanc. Petit mwen gen kolera. Ede li!" (Come White Woman. My child has Cholera. Help her!) I began to pray.
"I come in the authority of Jesus Christ. No weapon the enemy has can be used against me. My father heals. My father protects. His blood covers me."
When I found the woman I laid my hands on her and prayed. I gave her money from our church to go to the hospital. I purchased bleach and taught the women nearby how to sanitize everything.
After I got home I scrubbed my hands so hard I thought my skin would fall off. "Oh father, forgive my lack of faith."
Please pray for our village. The disease can spread quickly. Hopefully I have done enough to prevent it. I thank God I was here to help them.
The lady is still in Port Au Prince. I'll keep you updated on her.