The Internet is Back!

The internet is back!! Thank you, Jesus. I was going crazy without it. I think I'm way to spoiled for my own good. Looking back on it now I probably should have continued writing and just saved all my entries until now, but I wasn't thinking that far ahead. Sorry!
My schedule in Haiti is still the same. I teach adults and children for an hour each on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. But, this Monday, everything will change. School is starting. We have 270 children enrolled this year. There is Pre-K through 6th grade. I'm going to teach each class for 30 minutes everyday. I think at first it's going to be very tiring for me. It will probably take some time to get used to. In Haiti, the heat alone makes you tired. So trying to work in the heat will be quite the challenge, but I'm up for it! This is why I came. I tell myself everyday, "Im doing this for the love of Jesus. I'm doing this because he first loved me."
We also have a feeding program that will start Monday. Every kid that comes to our school gets a plate of rice and beans when the school day is over. It is very possible that this is the only meal they will recieve each day. Starting in November we will have a lot of donated food given to us. This will help greatly with our food program budget. However, in October we are short on funding so we can only afford to feed the children 3 days a week. Of course, the children living with me at my house will still get feed everyday. It is the children in the surrounding area that will go without. Its going to be difficult. Can you imagine trying to concentrate in school if you haven't ate anything in two days? Before I came to Haiti I was so bad about forgetting to pray before I ate. I never forget now. I have different feelings now when someone places a full plate of food in front of me. Its a gratefulness that can only be understood by those who have truley witnessed hunger. People have this look of hopelessness when they are hungry.... Its hard to explain.


If anyone would like to make donations to the feeding program just visit the website http://www.wellnetwork.tv/. You can donate online. And remember, prayers are free. My children could always use them, as well.

He is my Rock

I experienced my first overwhelming day in Haiti, yesterday. I woke up early feeling completely brain dead. I thought if I heard one more word in creole my head would explode. Of course, when I came out of my room the entire country was still speaking in creole. I then made my first crucial mistake. I ate breakfast and then retreated to the silence of my room. I laid in bed all afternoon with a headache. I felt exhausted. People here are natural more reluctant to approach me because communication is so difficult. Most days I understand that and I try my best not to take it personally. Yesterday was different.
What do you do in a third world country when you wake up in a sour mood? In Haiti once you invite self pity in it easily consumes your every thought. Focusing on the despair takes a lot less effort here then focusing on the joy. But, lucky for me, my God lives even in a place as foreign as Haiti. He goes before me. He sees my frustrations even before I do. When their is no one else to turn to there is Jesus.
The Bible says He is love. It doesn't say He has love. He is love. So whenever I'm feeling the strain of the great need I witness here everyday. I ask for compassion. I ask for wisdom. I ask for guidance. I ask for that love that surpasses all understanding. He is the source of contentment, so if you want all these things you have to get closer to the source.
If I'm going to be truly honest this is the real reason I came to Haiti. I could tell you it was for the children, but that would be a lie. Though they do make my job that much more enjoyable; they are not why I stay. I knew before coming here I would have moments when I felt all alone. When despair would overcome me. When no one else would be around to embrace me if I failed. I also knew that in those moments I would have no choice but to turn to God for comfort. And every time he comes through for me my faith and love for him grows that much more. He is my strong tower.
C.S Lewis once said...
"You never know how much you really believe anything until it's truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to hold a box. But suppose you had to hang by the rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?"
The more completely I depend on God the more completely he provides for me. This is why I stay in Haiti. This is why I call myself a Christian.

The Little Moments

More often then not carrying out the Lords will is challenging. Normally, the things he ask of us takes us outside of our comfort zones into unfamiliar territory. This is how he shapes us. But, sometimes doing the Lord's will is as easy as getting your fingernails painted....
Today, after dinner, a woman came up to me and noticed I had a hang nail. She said, "Oh, I will fix that for you." She immediately ran to her room. To my surprise, when she came back she was carrying a purse full of nail polish, nail files, and lotions. I've been sitting beside her for the last hour getting one of the best manicures I've ever had. She seems to enjoy doing  it and my nails have never looked better! She is such a precious lady, and I'm so grateful to have her as a friend.
When I first realized the Lord was calling me to be a missionary I assumed I would face a great deal of suffering in his name. I guess, I haven't got to that part yet because sitting around painting fingernails isn't exactly my idea of suffering. I'm sure there will be days when my patients is tested, when the children aren't behaving, or the heat and hunger is to much to bare. I will be ready to face the challenges when they come, but for now I'm very content sitting around with my new family and learning about what great people they truly are.
Thank you Jesus, for the small moments in my life that have come to mean so much to me. Thank you for opening my eyes so I can appreciate what's really important.

My first sentence!

Today at breakfast I put a sentence together in creole all by myself! Vickie was eating with me and she had 3 cell phones laying on the table. I asked her in creole, "Why do you need 3 cell phones?" (Poukisa ou bezwen twa telephone?) She smiled at me and said, "M' genyen kat telephone." (I have 4 cell phones) I still have no idea why she has so many phones, but that's not the point! The point is I constructed my first sentence, and understood her response!!!
I've been in Haiti for 18 days now. When I stop and think about it I do know a lot of words already. My goal of being able to have conversations in creole by Christmas doesn't look impossible. That, my friends, is an example of the power of pray. If you are doing God's will there isn't anything he won't do for you. I asked for his help learning this new language and he is helping. Trust me! I know it's all him because I failed french class in high school. I was terrible. But now, in the areas where I lack ability I look towards Jesus for support. He feels in all of my gaps and shows me the person I was meant to be. Today, many people spend their lives asking the question, "who am I?" You will never truly know yourselves until you look towards God for answers. Only the Creator can fully understand his creation. Ask him for guidance. You will be amazed at the potential you have through him.
Thank you Jesus for teaching me who I am.....

What Happened??

All my little angels turned into little terrors over night! They were all at least 30 minutes late for class today. They wouldn't listen. They wouldn't sit still. I tried to play a game with them and they all started fighting! Then I'm going over their ABC's and I see the boys talking on a cell phone. They are 7 years old. Where in the world did they get a cell phone? And who does a 7 year old need to call? I had to yell at them and take it away. Of course, they don't know what I'm saying so I can't reason with them. Now they are all mad at me. The kids in the house are sitting at the other end of the hall not speaking to me. Today I'm the mean teacher. I didn't give them candy after class.Tonight we're having a long family meeting at dinner about the appropriate way to behave in the classroom. Ms. Carrie is very upset!.... Jesus give me strength.These kids are going to give me a stroke!

Lesson of the day : Children are children no matter what country they are from.

I still love them though. I can see their potential. I just need to make them see it some how. They can be so much more then  block makers or laundry ladies. They are the future leaders of this country. Lord give me the patients and the authority to guide them, because they deserve the best I can give.

God's Mirror

This picture is for everyone who said I was crazy for leaving home. I live among angels. What better life is there then that?

Determination

I've read so much Creole today I think my head will explode!! The a's don't sound like a's. The i's sound like e's. Its like trying to rewire your brain!!! Now I have all these words in my head, but I can't put them into sentences. Sometimes I can pick up on the general subject of a conversation, but they talk so fast. Ahhhh!!!
LOL..I'm sure I will learn. It just takes time. I believe God is teaching me about persistence and determination. It would be so much easier if he would just do it for me. He could just give me the ability to speak a different langauge, but then what will I learn if I never have to do anything myself. A father always knows what's best for his child. But, I'm still going to pray he will give me the ability...just in case ;)

Setting Goals

In Haiti some days are harder then others. In life some goodbyes hurt worse then others. Saying goodbye to Josh and Cayla today was more difficult then I expected. It is finished now. I won't see a familiar face from home until December. Todd has also set rules for me not to leave the orphanage for the first month that I'm here. Which means, I can't visit Lucson for awhile either. I know Todd is only looking out for my well being and I  respect his rules. But, I look forward to the day when I can, at least, visit Lucson and his family. He is a good man and I enjoy his company. I hated to see them go. However, with their absence comes a greater sense of determination. I am here among the Haitians now and I have to be able to communicate. The faster I learn the easier it will be to adjust. How can I explain the story of Jesus to someone I can't talk to? I have so many questions for them that I can't ask. From this point on I'm going to spend everyday learning to read, write, and speak creole. I'm giving myself 3 months. I'm going to be able to have a conversation with anyone here before I leave for Christmas break. As a matter of fact I'm going to go study right now......

He Lives in Us

Being surrounded by so much poverty and despair can easily make a person become bitter with life. Whenever we become angry at the unfairness of this world we should take comfort in knowing that it is a Godly anger we are feeling. He created that piece inside of us that becomes outraged at the injustices of this world.That's what separates us from animals. So, it stands to reason, that if he created that part of us then he is outraged, as well. He will right the wrongs of this world because our hearts desire them to be set right, and he created that desire.

Remember, justice delayed is not justice denied.

Break Through

There is a little boy that lives in  my house. His name is Wilson, and he is about 7 or 8 years old. He is the only true orphan that lives with us. His father was riding on the back of a truck and fell off. His clothes got caught on something and he was dragged for who knows how long. By the time the driver noticed what was happening he was already dead. About a month after that his mother was participating in a Voodoo ceremony. She became possessed and slithered up a tree. When she tried to slither down, I suppose, the demon left her and she fell to her death. After that he was all alone.
When he came to live at the children's home many of the people visiting on week long mission trips would give him a lot of attention. He is a very cute little boy. (I'll post pictures of him later.) As soon as Wilson would begin to get attached to an adult they would leave him. So now he is a very guarded child. When the team that I came with was here he would not speak to anyone unless he was forced to. My heart breaks for him, but I think I've made progress today.
He keeps asking if he can borrow my UNO cards. Every time he ask for them I make him play at least one game with me. It's a good way to spend time with all the kids. While we were playing earlier he starting moving closer to me. He very slowly put his arm around me. I kissed him on top of the head and he laid his head on my shoulder for the rest of the card game. I think that was a big step for him. He wants to trust me. He wants to be loved, but he's scared to be left alone again. He must be so hurt. If I earn his trust how could I ever leave him? Going home, even for a short time, will not be easy.
Todd is considering adopting him. It takes a long time and a lot of money, but he's going to try. I worry that the adjustment to American culture will be hard on him. He doesn't even know English. I'll try to teach him as much as I can. Please, remember him in your prayers tonight. He's very special to me.

A Day in Port Au Prince

We dropped Todd ,my boss, off at the airport today. I'm the only American left at the school now. I spent the entire day driving around Port Au Prince with Marc, the director of my school. He's a very intellect Haitian man that is passionate about God and saving souls. I'm lucky to have such a good guy looking out for me here. God is to good to me.
He took me to a small store that sold lunch meat. I was surprised! I didn't think they had shops like that here. We bought bread, cheese, and ham. When Cayla and Josh come to visit me Tuesday I'm going to serve them hot ham and cheese. I know they will enjoy that. Rice gets old really fast. They serve it with every single meal.
While I was in town Marc taught me a little about Haitian money (gourdes). I exchanged all my American dollars for gourdes. One thousands gourdes equals about $25. I was looking everywhere for a Bible written in Creole, but I didn't have any luck. I guess, they are hard to come by. Marc said he will find me one, though. How can we expect these people to make educated productive descisions about thier country if they can't even buy a Bible? Most American's have three or four Bibles lying around their home. I know I do. I even have it on my phone. With all the resources God has given to us, I believe, he expects a lot more out of Americans. I recently read a book by a famous missionary named C. T. Studd. His thoughts were this....

My friends often ask me, "Do you think people can be saved if they have never heard the gospel?"
For me, a more important question would be, "Can people be saved who have heard the gospel and chosen not to share it?"

We have all been given the gift of the Message. What we chose to do with it is up to us. You are all missionaries. Remember, you don't have to travel across the world to share the love of Jesus.

The Pure in Heart

It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they will see God because only the pure in heart want to.

So Many Blessing

Right now there is almost 15 children playing outside my room. They are pushing each other in a little yellow cart. They're so loud I can't hear my CD player. It's OK though. They're laughter sounds better then any music I have. Who am I that God would bless me so much? Everyday he places more love inside my heart. Compassion is such a wonderful gift to receive. My cup runneth over!
I was able to visit Josh and Cayla yesterday. It was so good seeing my friends. We went to a beautiful beach and then a women's soccer game. Lucson, the man they stay with, is doing well. His children are healthy and happy. They gave me a bracelet that has my name sewn into it. I love it. I don't think I'll ever take it off. Class went well today. However, they are catching on quicker then I expected. I have to adjust my lesson plan for next time. They are so smart! I'm going to start given them vocabulary words to memorize every week. I think I'll write the word in English then in Creole. That will teach me, as well. I cant wait until I can speak their language. Its driving me crazy! I've learned a lot since I got here, though. I can pick up one or two words in most conversations. So I have a small idea of whats being said. It will come. Everything takes time, and I have the rest of my life to learn. 

Teaching English

I had my first english classes today. It was amazing! I had children first then young adults. The kids were wonderful. They were excited about learning something new just like most children their age. We played games and I taught them the song, Jesus Loves Me. I realized today that my job consist of playing with beautiful little children all day. Hahaha. And people say I sacrfice. If they only knew how wonderful my job is.
When the adults starting to come in I got a little nervous. I didn't know how they would responed to me. I had a translater at first so I told them I came to serve them because Jesus called us all to serve. I explained I was there to help and they could come to me for anything. Then I prayed for the wisdom to teach them. They responed very well after that. They caught on quickly, and I was able to laugh and joke with them. My next class is Friday. I can't wait!!

Left Behind

Everyone that came with me on the mission trip went home today. My boss, Pastor Todd is still here but he was gone all day doing business in Port Au Prince. I thought it would be strange to be left behind. I set on a bench surrounded by my new Haitian family waving goodbye, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm not ready to leave yet. Even though it is hard saying goodbye to so many great people I know I'm where I belong. This is the home God has prepared for me. There is so much to do and see and learn here. Each day is exciting and challenging. People keep telling me God will bless me for my sacrifice, but I'm already blessed. As far as I can tell, I haven't given up anything that God hasn't given me back double. Tomorrow I begin teaching English. It will be an open class for the people of this village until school starts. Everyone is excited. I think many will come. I am so blessed to be given this chance to teach these wonderful people!

Precious Water

The concert was amazing!! We set up a clinic right on the beach and treated over 400 children. Dre preformed and led as many as 50 people to Christ. These children were a lot sicker then any I've seen so far. One little girl in particular was follow me around most of the day. I tried speaking to her, but she wouldn't talk. All morning every time I would sit she would sit and when I would walk she would walk. Finally, I asked if she was hungry. She said yes. We were grilling hot dogs for the children so I cut line and got her one. She would only nibble on it though. I thought, maybe she is thirsty and her throat is dry. I got her a glass of water and she drank it so fast she almost choked. I got her another and she did the same thing. It broke my heart. She had been sitting beside me for hours and I had no idea she was so thirsty. After she ate I gave her a sticker and she never left my side.

Moving Past Religion

Spreading the Gospel in Haiti has many challenges. Dre Marshall, a Christian rapper is staying at the children's home with us this week. Last night we held a concert on our property and invited all the youth in the surrounding village. It was going well. The teenage boys were dancing while all the young girls watched and giggled. The little children were all smiles pointing to the sky singing "You a big God. You a big God." It was wonderful. However the elders of the church had a different opinion. They were anger. We were so close to reaching them! The teenage boys were hearing the gospel in a new light and you could see we were actually getting through to them. But the church members shut us down. They weren't happy with the music and the style of preaching so the kids thought they were doing something wrong. They are very concerned with religion here. There isn't any room for the Holy Spirit to move. But, I know Jesus is planning a huge revival for this country. The devil has put many obstacles in our path, but with Christ as our leader we will overcome them one by one. We are planning another concert this afternoon on the beach. Lives are going to be changed today!

A bag of Rice

We delivered food today to the people in our village. Ten people accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. Remember to keep the Haitian people in your prayers.

Good Morning Haiti

I woke up this morning at 7am, but Haiti was already awake. I can hear the women working hard in the kitchen making every one's breakfast. The dogs are barking outside and the children are playing with their jump ropes. This busy house makes me smile. I feel very welcome here. A young boy asked me yesterday how long I plan to stay in Haiti. I told him hopefully for a long time. He threw his hands in the air and said, "Thank you Jesus!!" The children seem very excited about having a new teacher. I was able to meet a few of my students yesterday, and I think they spread the word to all their friends there is a white lady teaching this year. I found out the new government has pushed the starting date for school back to October! I guess, I'm going to have longer then I thought to prepare for my class. I'm looking at this as a blessing from God. I'll have a whole month to meet my students and learn more creole. I have a lot to learn!

First Day

I arrived in Haiti at about 12:00 today. It was a good trip, but I'm very tired! My room is wonderful. I have a nice bed with clean sheets. Todd introduced me to Vickie when we got here. She is the director over the school. She's very nice, and she speaks English really well. Thank you Jesus for giving me a friend to talk to after all my American friends leave.
After it got dark I decided to take a quick shower before bed. It only has cold water, but I knew it would feel good cause the heat here is so intense. It was refreshing until I looked down and saw a 4in. long cockroach crawling up my leg! I kicked it off and then another one crawled out of the drain!! But I didn't scream.I finished my shower thinking to myself "welcome to Haiti".