Learning to Trust Him

I've been back in Haiti for about a week now. It always takes about a week for me to readjust and settle in. I have to get used to the language barrier, the food, and the heat all over again. It was easier this time because I haven't been gone that long. I went back to America because I was having horrible stomach pains. I probably could have dealt with it here, but honesty I just got scared. I don't have much trust in the Haitian hospitals and it was the first time I have been really sick here without understanding what was wrong. Turns out I had an ulcer. And from what I've heard ulcers are caused by stress....
Its ironic to me when I look back on all the blogs I've posted, I'm constantly talking about stepping out in faith and trusting God. I suppose I have done that. Physically I did everything God has asked me to do. I left my home and came to a new country by myself. I stay here because I remember the promise God has made to me. I married my husband because I know deep down he is the man God intended for me. I did everything right....on the outside. But inside I worry continuously about anything and everything. I worry about how I'm going to pay my rent. I worry about weather today I'm doing God's will. I worry about what my children will eat and how I'll have enough money for all of them to go to school. I worry about my husband and his walk with Christ. I worry about my son, about my dog, about my commitment to God. The list goes on and on and on.

How do you stop worrying?

My favotie Christian author is C. S. Lewis. He once wrote  “Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did.As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him.”

I know he's talking about love here but wouldn't the same rule apply to worrying? Worry and fear is the opposite of trusting God. Every time I begin to worry about something now I stop myself and say, "No! God's going to take care of it." Even if I don't really believe it. Even if I still have my doubts, I say it. And surprisingly it actually works. If you say something enough you'll eventually start to believe it. 

When I find myself not trusting enough in the Lord I act as if I do trust in him. I speak as if I have all the faith in the world he will come through. I know this sounds simple and a bit ridiculous but sometimes the most simple lessons are the hardest to learn. At least they are for me anyway.....