My testimony

I know this is long, but I felt like it was time to share my story.....

I grew up going to church. As a kid I knew all the bible stories and songs, but they were always just stories. I never really knew Christ on a personal level. As I got older I began distancing myself from God. I was too absorbed in myself to care about the matters of a man that lived 2000 years ago. Besides, I was far too concerned with what satisfied me today then what may await me in eternity. By the time I graduated from high school my entire life had been consumed by drug addiction. No one can fully understand the strength the devil can have on a person until you feel his grasp personally. Thankfully, my God is stronger than he is. At 22 years old I was in an emergency room listening to a doctor tell me if I didn’t stop using drugs I would die.  A few days later, in a tiny back office of a rehab, I quietly asked God to help me. I prayed he would carry me because I could no longer walk. Through his unexplainable mercy He healed me. I’ve been sober for almost three years. Thank you Lord, for my freedom!

            About a year after I got sober I decided to try going to church again. I started attending Soul Harvest Church because my family had been going. I never once felt judged by anyone. In the beginning I kept coming back because I liked the music, but I had a hard time understanding why everyone was so excited during praise and worship. I had never had a close relationship with God, and to be perfectly honest I often doubted whether Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah. I’ve always been a bit of a doubting Thomas. I wanted proof and historical facts before I committed to something so important. Like Thomas, I wanted to see the scars on Jesus’ hands before I believed. Fortunately for me, Jesus knows my heart and the way my mind works. With the help of a supportive church family, a very patient Pastor, and many biblical books Jesus began showing me the truth. He was the promised Messiah, and he had conquered death.

“For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

            ~Proverbs 2:6~

           

That following spring I was baptized. Shortly after my baptism I visited a doctor where I learned my liver was no long functioning properly. After a blood test I was diagnosed with Hepatitis.  I was in shock. I had just given my life over to the Lord. How could he have let this happen? Through many long nights of prayer I began to realize it wasn’t God’s fault I was sick it was mine. I had fallen away from God and these were the consequences of my actions. Once I took responsibility for my own mistakes things became a lot easier. Instead of arguing with the Lord I asked for forgiveness, and I found my peace.

            Eventually Jesus led me to a wonderful doctor who could offer me treatment. The treatment was injections once a week for a year. It was said to be extremely hard to handle. The medicine had many horrible side effects, and it could be compared to chemo therapy. Fevers, vomiting, weight loss, hair loss, and anemia was just a few of the risks. Plus, the treatment was only 50% affective. To say the least, I was scared. I knew I had to put my faith in God.

            The first night I gave myself an injection I was shaking so badly I could barley hold the needle. I went to bed that night thinking the next morning I would be extremely sick, but I wasn’t. I felt perfectly fine. I even had enough energy to walk my dog. The doctors told me it may take awhile for the medicine to build up in my system. I spent some time waiting to become sick, but the sickness never came. Within two weeks of taking my first injection my liver was normal and the virus was completely gone. They gave me many more test, but couldn’t find anything wrong. God had healed me quickly and painlessly! My doctors were amazed. They said no one had ever responded so well to this treatment. I continued taking the medicine for the remainder of the year. Besides a little fatigue now and then I was perfectly healthy the entire time.

            Looking back, I’m thankful for the experience I went through. Because of the treatment I was forced to be still and trust him. I spent an entire year focusing completely on God. He taught me a great deal about myself. I had the opportunity to reflect on my life and I began to realize what God had been leading me to do all along. He intended for me to become a missionary. When I accepted this everything else in my past began to make more sense. Many of the struggles I had faced now had meaning. I finally found my purpose, and I had never been so thankful for anything before.

            At first, I didn’t know where I was supposed to go or how I was going to get there. This was very frustrating. I knew I was supposed to help people, and time just seemed to be slipping away. I decided I had to do it on my own. I couldn’t wait around forever. Besides, no one was going to just walk up to me and offer a free trip to a third world country. I looked up mission organizations on the internet and filled out application after application. Every time I contacted a company I got the same response, “No”.  They would tell me I wasn’t qualified, I needed more education and experience, or I hadn’t been a true Christian long enough. It seemed hopeless. Finally I went to God. I told him of my frustrations and asked for his help. After I finally gave into him he pointed the way for me. My Pastor invited me on a weeklong mission trip to Haiti. He said the church would pay for everything. Isn’t God amazing!

            While I was in Haiti one of our team members missed her flight due to bad weather. Through a serious of unplanned events she met and introduced me to my future boss. Todd was running an orphanage about an hour away from where we were staying. He invited us to his school where we learned he needed a full time English teacher. From the moment he said he needed help I knew God had led me to him for that reason. I volunteered for the job immediately.

I’m now living in Fond Doux, Haiti. I made an agreement with Todd that I would spend  one year here, but I can’t imagine ever leaving now. In just a short amount of time I have found my new home. My place in this world has always been Haiti. I can see now that God had this planned from the beginning. There was always a small part of me that felt out of place in America. There was always something inside of me that wanted more out of life. Now, I don’t need anything more then what God gives me here. I’m not searching for answers or proof in the existences of Jesus. All of that seems so pointless now. I have my proof every time I hear one of my children tell me they love me. I have my proof every time I’m able to give a hot plate of food to a hungry mother and baby. In Haiti, every time the wind blows through my hair and cools me off I find all the proof I need.

            Because I have obeyed God and I am fulfilling his purpose for my life everything I do feels like worship. I work hard every day to show my children that I love them. This I do so that I may honor the Lord. You can’t imagine the joy He has placed in my life because I simply do what he asks of me. I can’t describe my happiness. I won’t even try. Something’s are meant to be felt and not said.

            I hope that by writing this some of you may follow in my footsteps. I pray others can learn from my example. I don’t believe everyone is suppose to travel to far away countries, but I do believe we are called to abandoned are own ambitions and following Christ. He is calling on us all to love and to teach others to love. If everything is right with him then the love inside of you will pour out into the rest of the world. And if you receive his love and make that commitment to follow him then nothing in this world should be able to stop you from sharing your faith. What a gift He has given you. What precious knowledge you possess. Remember, God has placed his faith in us as well. The amount of faith he has for us surely goes beyond our own understanding.  He gambled on us. Trusting in people so completely that he gave us the awesome responsibility of keeping and sharing his Word. It is only through us that others may know him. How will the world ever know love if we as Christians do not show them? We have all been called. I pray you open your hearts and answer that call….