Its to loud!!

I can look back on all the times when I thought I was stressed out and laugh at myself. I had no idea what stress was until I came to Haiti! 

Trying to teach in my school is near impossible. There is so much work that needs to be done with the basic structure of the school system. The teacher's schedules are all different. The times that each class begins changes everyday. The children get up and walk around the school whenever they feel like it. There is no order! And don't even get me started on the noise! 

I have a CD player that I'm supposed to use to teach the children the alphabet. It sings the alphabet song with music behind it. The school is so loud that if I turn the music up full blast the students in the front row can not hear what its saying. I have to yell (not talk but yell) my lessons at the kids for them to hear me. My throat is sore from talking so loud all day. We have 270 children packed into a tiny building like sardines. Its so hot that the poor preschoolers just cry all day. And what makes it most difficult is the Haitian people just accept this. They are not the type of people who will see a problem and then work to fix it. They just accept what is given to them and they don't complain. This is a good quality to have with many things in life, but not with our school systems. They have to improve or the children will never learn.   

I went on break at 10:30 and thought to myself, "I can't do this. Its impossible. Its to stressful." It took everything I had not to break down in front of everyone. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and give up. But then, right at that moment, a breeze picked up. I could see the leaves start to move in the tree I was standing under. In Haiti, the wind never blows where I live. I think this wind was different. It was cool air sent from God just for me. I closed my eyes and remembered why I was teaching. "This I do because I'm in love with Jesus Christ." I asked him to give me strength, and somehow I made it through the rest of the day with a smile on my face. I gave every child the best I had today. 

After school I crawled to my room. I slept for three hours straight! I think my mind was more tired then my body. I didn't want to move. I couldn't move!! Its was the kind of exhausted feeling that makes you think your getting sick.Then I heard a little voice outside my bedroom door......

"Ms Carrie, Ou prale legliz?" ( Ms Carrie are you going to church?)

"Wi Bebe, map vini." (Yes baby, I'm coming)

"OK Ms, Carrie. I love you"

"I love you too"

No matter how stressful things are I'll never leave Haiti. This is my home.