He is Freedom....

I'm just finishing up a week long mission trip with the Knowlton family. I'm so thankful to have friends that support my work. I know there are a lot of missionaries that don't have that. While they were here we prayed for families on my land, visited an orphanage, built a chicken coop, and had a cook out with all the kids in my sponsorship program. But, I would have to say the thing that impacted me the most was our trip to the prison.....

I found out that the cells I had been visiting before were the women's and children's prison. On the other side of town, they have a place for the men. We went in with peanut butter sandwiches and bananas not knowing what to expect. They told us the prison held almost 150 men. As we walked up to the front gate I was immediately struck by the smell of urine coming from inside. I think the whole group was nervous at this point but I had a sense of peace knowing that I had to go in. I've learned from my experiences in Haiti that God moves the most when we step out of our comfort zones. So many times while being here I've been afraid but I focus on the task and do what I know is right and every single time God has shown up. He's faithful when we are.
We walked into a damp dark hallway and a gate was locked behind us. Most of us were standing with our backs to the wall while a 150 pairs of curious eyes stared back at us through rusty bars. All words left me as I took in the sight of all these men crammed into two cells about the size of a small living room. There were no beds and one bathroom for each cell. The men were dirty, and sick, and completely silent. The air was stale and suffocating. We began counting out the sandwiches and fruit. Suddenly the silence was broken by a man wailing in the back of the cell. Someone had hit him and he was crying. My nerves almost got the best of me at this point but I began to sing quietly under my breath.
"Your mercy reigns. Your mercy covers me. Your grace sustains. Your grace is all I need."

After we were finished I looked around at my team and noticed just about every person had tears in their eyes. What can be said now when your surrounded by complete hopelessness? But God gave me a boldness I hadn't known before and I asked the prisoners  if I could say a prayer for them. One man said, "Yes we've been waiting for your prayer." How long he's been waiting I'll probably never know. I prayed God would give them courage and strength. That peace would surround that cell and his presence would be felt. I prayed that they would see that even though they are separated from the world  they can never be separated from Jesus. He is freedom.....

When I opened my eyes the men were standing up staring at me and then they began to clap and cheer. Maybe for a brief second there was hope in that hopeless place.

I talked to the guards afterwards and they said I could bring them soap and toothbrushes next time I visit, so I'm working on accomplishing that now.

God changed me in that prison that day. I remember when I used to pray and ask God to "break my heart for what breaks his." At the time I had no idea I would ever be visiting places like this or praying for people in such horrible situations. Isn't it amazing how far the gospel message can take us if we allow it.



"Then the king will say to those on his right hand, 'Come you blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me;  I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You? And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to the least of these My brethren, you did it to me.'
Matthew 25: 34-40

The Cross

I'm overwhelmed by the number of children in our program that our sick. Yesterday when we had our hotdog cookout I had kids pulling on the back of my shirt saying, "Ms Carrie, mwen malad. Mwen malad" (I'm sick, I'm sick) They have fevers and skin rashes and stomach aches. One little girl living beside me has a deformity that makes her walk on the sides of her feet. It looks painful. I don't even know how a doctor can correct that but they must be able to because I never see children like that in America. I look around me and see a hundred little tired faces with yellow hair because malnutrition robs you of even your hair color.
I get emails and Facebook messages from people everyday telling me what a good job I'm doing and how much I'm changing lives. Thats hard to believe, though. When I hold a baby thats covered head to toe in a rash and the mother tells me he can't sleep at night because the itching is so intense I'm helpless.  I pray the well will be dug quickly. I pray that we can start a consistent feeding program soon. Mostly, I pray that something so simple as clean water and food will heal my children.

I hate focusing on the problem. When I write my blog I always try to talk about the joys of living in the mission field. There are so many wonderful things about this country, but some days I wake up with a heavy heart that I just can't seem to shake.

When I am forced to walk away from a sick child without being able to provide the appropriate medicines I close my eyes and think of the cross. How can he forgive us for what we've done to each other? We live in a world where children die from lack of food and others die from obesity. Where scientist have created medicines to cure anything from cancer to depression but these people are still dying from diarrhea. Seeing the world this way makes the cross that much more beautiful. He died for us. All of us, as a whole. We have messed this world up to the point that it maybe beyond repair and he knew that was going to happen. But, still he went.......

How could I ever give up when I know that he didn't.

Child Sponsorship Program

The child sponsorship program that I started a few months ago has been a huge success. So far we've been able to buy school supplies for 70 children. I've paid a full years tuition for two of my girls. I've been able to pay for countless visits to the doctor and now we're working on getting all 70 of the children new school books. The books are expensive though. My plan is to buy half the books this month and next month buy the other half.

Here is a picture of my guys working, even after the electricity shut off. They are shorting through the books and figuring out which child needs what. Its a lot of work trying to organize materials for 7o kids!! Luckily, God has blessed me with friends that are willing and excited to help with He's work.

Thanks to all involved with this program. You have no idea the impact you are making on these children's lives.
And if anyone else is interested in helping out feel free to email me anytime......

carrieroush51@yahoo.com